Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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