When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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