Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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